


we're dancing on the edge of a knife

by orphan_account



Category: Hit the Floor (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Drinking, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, also no one plays basketball, basically debate enemies, sex under the influence, they're college boys and they're dumb reallt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 14:13:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9495044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It's not like Jude has a— a crush, here, no, he's simply stating things are they are. Zero is hot and Jude would so very much like to get up on all that, but that's it. He can compartmentalize, he can objectively admit Zero is hot without necessarily having extra feelings or emotions for him—it's merely physical.Yes, that's all it is.or: the college au where zero and jude are archenemies in debate class until they're not.





	1. one;

**Author's Note:**

> **eta 4/25:** guys due to some personal issues i will no longer be updating/writing. i'm really sorry and i hope you understand. i'll be deleting this account too, probably over the weekend, but the works will remain archived for those who want to reread, maybe. thank you all so much for always being kind and supportive, i love you all and, again, i'm sorry.

Jude's seen him before, is pretty sure they've shared a few classes together besides the one they always fight in (Debate Seminars shouldn't be as hardcore as the one he attends every Tuesday from five-thirty pm to seven pm—he's certain their professor tapes the whole thing and then laughs about them trying to rip each other's heads off) and they live in the same hall back at the dorms. (There's also that awkward introduction back in first year that Jude doesn't even want to think about, because _awkward_.)

Jude knows they live in the same building mostly because he's been to Lucas's parties at the local pub—his dad's the owner, which works conveniently for everyone, really—and Zero is usually there. Whenever Lucas throws one of his parties, it's invitation only, and usually only people who live in the hall are invited. (He's picky like that.) Jude doesn't know which one is Zero's room, though, doesn't know if he's at the single's wing or if he's got a roommate or whatever and it's not like he cares, the only thing he cares about is—

Alright, okay.

The thing is Jude likes the fighting. Whenever there's a debate people stare at them like they're fucking _gods_ , he's seen half the class hold their breath while he and Zero get into heated arguments about the death of socialism and the restriction of freedom of speech and, on one memorable occasion, veganism. Jude likes it because he knows Zero likes it, too—if he didn't, he wouldn't get so intense and all in Jude's face when they discuss the most trivial of things, like who gets to speak first.

Yeah, that's always fun.

The other thing—the thing Jude doesn't really like to stop and think about—the other thing is Zero is hot as fuck, has nice eyes and even nicer lips framed by a permanent, I-can't-bother-to-shave-but-you-know-I-do stubble that Jude wouldn't mind kissing, and his hands look big enough to pin both of Jude's wrists to the bed—or the wall, Jude can adapt easily, thanks—and maybe open Jude up with those thick fingers until he's a sobbing mess all over the floor, or the bed, or the couch, he's not picky about it. And don't get him started on those legs. When Jude isn't trying to fuck with Zero's mind and his consequent speech, he's fantasizing about being smothered by those thighs around his neck, or maybe having them wrapped around his waist while he fucks Zero ten ways till Sunday.

It's very inconvenient to have these thoughts in class while Jude is trying to argue in favor of animal cloning.

And it's not like Jude has a— a _crush_ , here, no, he's simply stating things are they are. Zero is hot and Jude would so very much like to get up on all that, but that's _it_. He can compartmentalize, he can objectively admit Zero is hot without necessarily having extra feelings or emotions for him—it's merely physical.

Yes, that's all it is.

 

 

 

Jude is not a fan of frat parties. Sure, they're fun, he gets to meet people and—hopefully—make out with someone, but it's not something he actively enjoys. This is why he's been mostly on his phone for the past hour, checking Facebook and Twitter and every other social network he has, because Kyle's nowhere to be found—Jude should've know she'd ditch him as soon as she saw Beau—and Jude's too scared to move from his spot by the stairs. The party is at full swing and Jude's cup of "just beer" (he's going to give Terrence the benefit of the doubt here) is almost lukewarm, extremely unappealing. He stares at the contents of his cup and tries not to sulk. He's not even buzzed; if he were he'd have a lot more fun, honestly.

"Babe, you need to lighten up," Kyle says suddenly very close to him, her skimpy top askew and her lipstick a little messed.

Jude narrows his eyes at her. "You said 'I need to make a call, be right back'. It's been two hours." He tries not to whine but fails, horribly, and Kyle smiles at this, looping their arms together. "I can't believe you ditched me to get some. What kind of best friend are you?"

She completely ignores the question. "You should dance," she says, nodding her head along to the song blasting from the living room. "Instead of standing over here looking like someone's dad. I mean, just saying."

He snorts. "Shut up," and nudges her. Once she's done laughing at him, he holds his cup out to her. "Hold this. If I am to survive this party I need to be high. 'Be right back'," he throws with a grin, and she pouts.

"You're lucky you're cute and rich," she says, and saunters away to probably find Beau again.

Jude doesn’t consider himself lucky. At all. He bumps into Zero on his way to Derek's room (so he can pack a bowl and maybe, hopefully, pass out in peace in there, party be damned), and he swears— _swears—_ his heart does not stutter at the sight of him, of those shoulders wrapped in dark-blue fabric and the collar of his t-shirt doing _things_ to his collarbones and his _pecs_ , Jesus fuck.

This is probably the unluckiest Jude has ever been. Like, the universe is probably laughing at him right now.

They stand in the hall, quietly, awkwardly, until Jude finds his voice—because Zero is just looking at him with this tiny smirk on his face and doesn't look inclined to offer any kind of conversation—and says, both eyebrows raised, "You just coming from Derek's room?"

He tries really, _really_  hard not to follow the way Zero's lips move as he says, "Yeah, needed to make a call and it's the quietest room in the house," like it's the most obvious thing and Jude's, like, a little daft not to realize that.

It's like even his eyes are making fun of Jude. He hates this guy on principle. But he also wants to choke on his dick until they're both crying.

"Oh," Jude says then, very eloquently, because it's actually true, Derek's room is on the third floor and only the brothers and/or important friends are allowed up here. That can only mean Zero must know someone in the fraternity, and judging by whose room he's just come from, Jude doesn't even need to think too hard. (Not that he can, at the moment, either. Whatever Terrence is handing downstairs is starting to blur Jude's senses a bit.) And he really needs to talk to Derek more if suddenly he's gone and made new friends, what the fuck, they've known each other since they were five, it's not possible Derek's kept his friendship with Zero from him for this long.

"Are you okay?" Zero asks at the same time Jude opens his mouth to say, "M'gonna pack a bowl, wanna share?"

And that—that moment right there—is the start of what Jude likes to call "The Zero Conundrum", because not only does Zero say "yeah, sure, beats whatever Terrence's pretending to pass along as beer downstairs," he in fact steals Jude's (Derek's, actually) bowl and lights it up deftly while they sit on the floor next to each other but not actually _touching_ and Jude is fucking _mesmerized_ by those fingers and he's not even high yet, what in the actual fuck.

And then—and _then_ , because Jude's life isn't complicated enough as it is and he hasn't been lusting after this asshole for, like, half the semester, hell _no_ —Zero starts making motherfucking rings with the smoke every time he exhales. Not sexy. Jude doesn't find that fucking hot. No.

But then Zero is saying "I fucking love that song," as he leans back against the side of Derek's bed, his head tipped back into the mattress as he looks up at the ceiling and blows sweet, milky smoke above their heads, and it takes Jude five seconds to recognize the song that's playing downstairs—five seconds too long because before he knows it Zero's leaning across the bit of carpet separating them, the tip of his nose warm when it meets the corner of Jude's mouth, and then the motherfucker has the nerve—the _audacity_ , to start _humming_ and who knew he could carry a fucking tune, goddamnit.

Honestly, Jude doesn't remember much of the sex. By college standards, he's not even sure they actually _had_ sex. Or maybe they did. Who knows at this point, really.

What he remembers, though, what he remembers is fucking _awful_.

He remembers Zero's fingers around his cock and he remembers wrapping his around Zero's wrists to slow him down because quick orgasms while stoned tend to give Jude headaches and he remembers—most of all—wanting it to _last_. He remembers Zero's mouth on his and his tongue, soft and sweet, tracing wet lines down Jude's throat, the burn of his stubble. He remembers pushing on Zero's shoulders for him to sit back up, remembers straddling those fucking thighs of his and feeling desperate, needy, making small sounds while they kissed and Zero gripped his hips tight enough to leave marks, marks he could map the next morning— but mostly Jude remembers Zero's face as he came, fucking untouched and in his pants, the tightness of his eyes, the soft give of his mouth as Jude licked his way inside so he could suck on Zero's sweet, sweet tongue.

Jude doesn't remember how he gets home, but he lies in bed until three pm the next day and refuses to answer any of Derek's calls because even _thinking_ about him makes Jude think of his room and the despicable things that happened there. That happened _twice_ because Jude apparently has legendary stamina when he's high, who would've known.

It's a long weekend. Jude's glad, secretly; the longer it takes for Tuesday to arrive, the better.

 

 

The weird part is… it's not _weird_. Like, at all. Like, for all everyone knows, Jude never made Zero come twice and in his pants. Nope. That shit never happened.

Besides, as Terrence would say, if it ain't on Facebook, it sure as hell didn't happen. (Jude _prays_ there's nothing on Facebook every night before he goes to sleep. He's not even sure he and Zero are friends on Facebook.)

Come Tuesday, Jude literally has the hives. He goes to his part-time job at the paper at eight and honest to God writes three fucking articles about the flu outbreak in the law building, the latest crisis in Europe, and a review on the latest Ben Affleck film for the paper's blog that a fellow intern couldn't write and asked him to.

He leaves his cubicle at two and gets lunch with Terrence and they talk about a lot of random stuff that Jude won't even try and remember later and only flinches at the mention of last Saturday's party twice before he manages to stir their conversation ten miles away from it. He gets back to the dorms around four and walks in like he owns the building while mentally praying to every single god out there not to run into Zero anywhere. He gets his books, gets his jacket, and leaves for class, making it just in time to watch Zero take his usual fucking spot at the front of the class because he's such a kiss-ass.

He doesn’t even need to act surprised.

The professor announces the topic for the day—allowing to teach biased versions of History in school—and then asks for team leaders and there's a collective roll of eyes because, like, there hasn't been candidates ever since she herself assigned Jude and Zero as her debate gladiators or some shit.

When no one comes forward, she points at Jude, "For," and then at Zero, "Against. Get your teams ready, gentlemen."

And then—

And then fucking Zero looks at him from the first row and his lips curve up into a smirk and it's like a physical blow because Jude remembers that mouth, he remembers how good that mouth was to him and he wants to, like, maybe punch Zero in the dick but also kiss him senseless for the _nerve_ he's packing.

Thirty minutes later, Jude lets Raquel take front for the first round. He says, "I'm feeling out of it today, yeah," and lets her be the ruthless banshee that he knows she can be. It's weird; the whole class goes mute when Raquel goes up to the front, and then there's a murmur from Zero's team and seconds later it's Ahsha the one who steps up.

Halfway through he glances towards Zero's general vicinity and finds him already looking at Jude, one corner of his mouth still up, almost _daring_ , and that's it, Jude's done with this shit. He taps German on the shoulder, "'m going up next," and he nods, and then when Zero stands five feet away from him out in the front, Jude thinks _it's on, bitch_ , and on it is.

It's the same as always, they fire and fire and fire and some of the words ricochet and suddenly there are no more 'turns' because it's them and all eyes are _on them_ and Jude wants to fucking laugh. Feels a lot like flirting, what they're doing, and it's downing on him just _now,_ damn it, but he doesn't care, because he's pumping adrenaline so hard everywhere it's a miracle he's still standing.

When it's over, Jude's sure he's half-hard in his pants. Honestly, they're tight enough for the back of his neck to heat up in shame (and also in lust because Jude's discovering shit about himself lately thanks to fucking Zero) and he's very glad there's a podium in front of him or else this would be his very end, socially speaking.

The professor calls it off before there's any blood and then Zero and Jude are shaking hands like the big people they are, and no one notices the way the tip of Zero's middle finger rubs smoothly along the inside of Jude's wrist in three swift, consecutive circles, _no one_.

Jude does, though, and it fucks him up. He sneers at Zero as he says, "Had you by the balls, didn't I?" and their professor tutts at him but it's worth it for the sheer _shock_ in Zero's eyes and the blush in his cheeks as they part away and into their respective biblical corners. It's worth it, yes, but it's also bold as all fucks because Jude _did_ have him by the balls at some point that night and, fuck, _fuckity fuck_ , he should work on his brain to mouth filter. What even is the point of this seminar?!

Zero smirks at him as they pick up their stuff, and only says, "Yeah, it was fun," at Jelena when she claps him on the shoulder. He never takes his eyes off Jude as he says it and Jude would laugh, he really would, except it actually _was_.

Jude is positively  _fucked_.


	2. Chapter 2

The next few weeks are… mostly okay. Kyle keeps giving him looks whenever they go out and they somehow end up talking about the damn party. Jude successfully deflects her questioning at least 60% of the time. It's Kyle, after all.

"I'm just saying," she sips at her green smoothie rather obnoxiously, "you've gotten laid and haven't told me about it. That goes against the bro code."

Jude rolls his eyes, picking uselessly at his pastrami. "Haven't gotten any. You're starting to sound like Lionel—you both are way concerned about my sex life. Or lack thereof."

The more she asks, the less Jude believes it actually happened, though. It's not like he goes around daydreaming about it, either, okay. He bumps into Zero a lot, lately—they only take the one class together but Zero usually picks up Terrence after their Press Legislation class so they can go to the gym together and if they happen to cross looks while Jude's on his way out of the room, then so be it. If Zero smirks this tiny thing and Jude feels heat claw its way up his throat, no one needs to know.

"Sweets, I'm just saying, it’s been a while since I saw you with someone." Kyle has her 'worried best friend' face on, pouty lips included. Jude is not used to being on the end of it much, mostly because he's the worrywart in their relationship. "Maybe I need to set you up with someone? I have a few single friends if you want me to—"

"No," Jude sighs, for the umpteenth time today, because she's been trying to bring this up since they sat for lunch. "I'm fine, Kyle, really."

She doesn't look convinced and Jude doesn't try his hand at convincing her right now, and instead mentions Beau and it's like Kyle completely forgets all about Jude's sex life and becomes this bright-eyed, smiley creature and Jude can finally breathe. He takes a bite of turkey and wonders what her reaction would be if she knew, if he told her she and Zero had this thing at that party she can never shut up about, if she'd laugh and say "boy, are you fucked," or demand the dirty details. She'd probably do both.

Jude sighs and decides to stop thinking about it.

 

 

He's been drinking mostly vodka and it's only a bit after midnight and he's got his arm wrapped around Kyle, who by all means has given him explicit and clear permission that he _can_ put his arm around her shoulders, only for tonight (Kyle is scary when she wants to and Jude values his balls and his life very much), when Zero shows up.

They're at a club a few minutes out of the dorm halls, celebrating Ahsha's birthday, and the music is loud but not loud enough to drown their laughter and their conversation in this part of the club. (Also, everyone is pretty well on their way to drunk and they tend to get loud. Especially Derek.) Jude swirls his glass around and downs the last dregs of his drink in one go, gestures at a passing waiter for another, and nearly takes his own eye out with his glass as Raquel gets up from where she's sitting next to him, arms trashing wildly as she yells, "Oh my god, you _made_ it!" and wraps herself around a brunette who Jude has never met but has seen around in some of his classes.

And then Zero comes up from behind her with both Jelena and Terrence and they're nodding at Derek, and kissing Kyle's and Raquel's cheeks. Ahsha holds her hand out and expects everyone to kiss it, which they do. When Zero finds Jude he merely opens his eyes wider in surprise and nods at him once.

"Hey, man," he says, like it's a thing they say to each other all the time.

"Hi." Jude nods back only because it's polite. His mama raised him well, you see.

Drinks come and go and the place gets even more packed and Jude is feeling warm and tipsy enough to make his way towards the dance floor, taking Kyle by the hand, and she's laughing and dancing and so is Jude. They make it through Galantis and some Labrinth and then Kyle is leaning in and yelling, "hey, what's with you and Zero, huh?" in his ear and Jude almost chokes on air but pulls it together before he can make a fool of himself.

"What d'you mean?" he yells back, and because he's a moron, looks directly at where Zero is sitting back at their group of friends across the dance floor. He's laughing and high-fiving Jelena and he looks so good, _so fucking good_ in that blue checkered shirt of his and those tight jeans.

Damn it, Jude _hates_ his guts. Did the fucker have them _painted_ on his legs or something? What the shit.

Kyle pokes his chest. "I've known you since the third grade, Kincade, don't fuck with me," she says, still dancing, and she reminds him so much of Lionel when she's like this, stern and caring but also a bit of a bitch. And demanding to know every little detail about Jude's life because she'll later use it to torture him.

What is it with women in Jude's life being so mean to him?

"I would never," he says, and hip-checks her as the song fades into something electronic he's never heard of. "There's nothing—" he waves his hand around towards where Zero is, shaking his head. "I don't even know him; we just happen to fight a lot in class."

Kyle leads him to the bar and calls for the bartender. She signals two shots and then turns to Jude, her expression sharp. "Jelena says you look like you're about to fuck right there in front of everyone. _It's like some weird kind of foreplay_ , she said. You're one kinky motherfucker, so I'm inclined to agree with her on that one, babe."

Jude does choke this time. He's going to kill Jelena. Kyle thumps him in the back. "That is not—that's not—how dare she— _no_ , okay? Nothing. Nada. Nope. Ow, stop it, I'm fine now."

"Right," she says, dragging the 'i' only to be obnoxious. Jude wrinkles his nose at her and motions to the drinks.

They down the shots and Jude pats her shoulder as she lets the topic go, drops a couple bills on the bar, and stays close to her as they make it back to where the guys are, and it only fucking _figures_ that Zero is sitting right in front of Jude as they make it through and out of the crowd, arms spread over the back of the couch and thighs parted in such a way that makes Jude's mouth water and his dick stir in interest.

It's _criminal_. He licks his lips as he looks up Zero's torso—it's a very nice one, okay—and when their eyes meet Zero's biting his own lip, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he tries to tamper his smirk. That permanent five o'clock shadow he rocks so hard is making _Jude_ rock hard. Fuck him, seriously. Jude hopes no one around them has noticed any of it as he takes a sit next to Derek and steals a swig of his beer.

Derek yells he wants more drinks and can someone please get a waiter to get them more shots, damn it, what did he even bring them all for, and then he nudges Jude, says, "You're the last one to sit down, go get the drinks."

Jude wants to slap him but Zero leans across Derek and says, eyes shining, "I can give you a hand with that."

The music thrums under Jude's skin. He raises his eyebrows at Zero and wants to say, "I can handle it myself, thanks," but Derek is nodding, patting them both on the shoulders.

"Yes, yes, go get the drinks, you two. But no debating, okay? Like, at all, Jude, man, I'm beggin' ya, just get shots and _do not engage into any debating_ , just get whatever vodka the bartender offers, _capisce_? Here, take Terrence's wallet. Go crazy, babe."

The good thing is everyone around them is too plastered to notice the way Jude and Zero are looking at each other. Also, Derek is a very handsy drunk, where the hell is his girlfriend to keep him in check.

Zero smirks as Jude gets up and then they're pushing through the crowd towards the bar, and Jude can feel him all along his back, which is weird because there are a lot of bodies pressed into his and there's no way he can make out only Zero's. When they reach the bar, they both lean against it, pressed closed from shoulders to hips.

"Y'know, that last debate on anarchism was pretty good," Zero whispers-yells, his lips close to Jude's ear, like _right the fuck there_.

Jude fucking _shivers_. What the fuck. He turns halfway to meet Zero's eyes, "You realize you and I aren't, like, _friends_ , right? I don't even know you." Which is disturbingly true, because Jude is a hundred percent sure he doesn't even know this guy's real name.

But it's, honestly, the wrong thing to say. Not because he's afraid he might hurt Zero's feelings or anything like that, it's just that it's not the comeback he was aiming for. Fuck, Jude needs to be drunker. Or maybe he needs to call it a night and go home and jerk off to the memory of that mouth wrapped around his dick. Dilemma, really.

Zero is laughing, though. Like, full-bodied, head-thrown-back, shoulders-shaking laughing. His teeth are so fucking white. "I know that, yeah," he says as he gathers himself back together again, leaning into the top of the bar, and it's like he draws even closer even though Jude knows that's physically impossible, they're as close as it gets already. He lowers his voice, though, as much as he can while Usher sings in the back, and says, "Don't need to be your friend to suck your cock, though."

And that—

That is such a poor argument Jude wants to laugh. Honestly, this fucking barman is taking forever to get to them.

Jude raises his eyebrows, "Think about my dick a lot, do you?"

"Not really, no," Zero says, making a face. There's mirth etched in every single one of his features, though. "Wasn't that much impressed, to be honest. Besides, we were pretty high, don't think I could've encountered its real potential."

"Couldn't handle it anyway," Jude shoots back, half leaning into Zero's space already, two more inches and that mouth will be on his neck, stubble burning everywhere. _Fuck._

Zero licks his lips. "We should find out, I think. For, like, science."

Truth is, he's not even drunk enough to take Zero on it and it should feel weird, needing to be drunk to actually get it on with someone who obviously isn't that drunk either and looks _interested_.

Jude smiles, thin. "I don't fuck in clubs, babe, sorry." Which is only half-way true but Jude isn't going to go there, nope, not tonight.

"What about my car, then?" Zero shoots back, smiling, teasing and hungry at the same time and, fuck, Jude itches to touch him.

It's all the fucking bartender's fault, really. If he'd shown up before Zero had reached for the inseam of Jude's thigh, before Zero had traced the fabric upwards and upwards until his thumb caught on the crease of Jude's half-hard dick, none of this would've happened. Derek is probably crying because he never got his shots and Terrence might be freaking out because his wallet is still in the back pocket of Jude's pants.

This is all the bartender's fault.

This being Jude lying on his back in the backseat of Zero's SUV and clutching uselessly at the window glass while Zero—dear, _wonderful_ Zero—sucks him off like a pro. He's using his hand to make up for what his mouth can't reach and it's fucking glorious, Jude can feel his balls tightening against Zero's jaw when he takes him deep and the anxious flutter of Zero's throat around the tip of his cock when he goes down on him good and dirty.

It's so good Jude wants to scream, and he has to settle for gasping out curses and half-formed words and digging his nails on leather rather than Zero's skin to keep his head in place and fuck his throat raw because he's not that kind of guy.

He comes with a sob—embarrassing, really, but so fucking worth it Jude wouldn’t mind shedding a few tears to get his point across—and laughter bubbling up his throat, sparkles going off under his skin, in his closed eye-lids, pink and red and blue and yellow. He takes a few breaths before he unclenches his fingers from the seat, and he reaches out for Zero, who's currently very devoted to the skin of Jude's thigh, grapples for his shoulder and murmurs, "get up here, c'mere," before his brain catches on with his mouth, or the other way around maybe. He doesn't care because Zero's crawling back up, one knee on the seat between Jude and the backrest and the other on the floor, and he's kissing the corner of Jude's mouth, his lips _burning_ , wet and used, tasting like Jude and himself.

They kiss and they kiss and Jude's lightheaded with it, his hands buried deep in Zero's hair, thighs open and pantless and cock lying spent between them, and it would be awkward, it really would, except Zero's reaching in between them—struggling to, more like, his SUV is not as spacious as Jude originally thought—and undoing his pants one handed. Jude chants, "yes, yes, yes," into the space between their mouths because _fuck yes_ , Zero still needs to come and Jude's more than happy to help him out.

Zero's cock is hard and thick and flushed and wet at the tip, just like he remembers, and Jude murmurs, "fuck, I really wanna go down on you," still orgasm-stupid, that's all this is.

Zero bites on Jude's lip, tugs on it with his teeth and then he's sucking on it, pulling away only to ask, "rain check?" while he wraps fingers around himself, eyes half-hooded and blown to shit, grin so bright Jude is momentarily blinded.

Jude nods before he knows what he's doing, "fucking _yes_ ," and reaches out to wrap fingers around Zero's, leaning up to catch his mouth again and whisper, "tell me how you like it," into it. Zero shivers at this, his fingers stuttering under Jude's, the elbow that's leaning besides Jude's head making the leather under it squeak. Jude _likes_ it, likes getting Zero so riled up like this, because it reminds him of what they get up to during debate, and that's a sight Jude has come to like deeply.

"Wet," Zero says, low and gravely, laughing a little as he leans in and drops a half-assed kiss to the corner of Jude's mouth, "wet, shit, now I can't stop thinking about your mouth," and Jude lets go of his hold only to lick thoroughly up his palm, holding Zero's heated gaze because it's only proper he gets him as crazy as Jude feels.

And it works—Zero's nostrils flare and he bites his lip and Jude wants to lean up and put his tongue right there, on the dent of teeth on flesh, handjob be damned, but he settles for moaning softly at the back of his throat as he licks his hand good and wet, the other one sneaking past the untucked end of Zero's shirt to run nails across the trail of hair leading down from his navel. He looks so fucking good, Zero does, holding himself tight and focused on top of Jude, chest heaving, seams about to break.

He nudges Zero's hand away where he's been palming his cock and wraps his fingers around it and it feels just like he remembers, thick, slightly longer than himself, a perfect fit in Jude's hand. Zero lets out this beautiful mewling sound and Jude would laugh, fucking pleased of himself, except there's an extra tongue in his mouth and Zero's good at that, he's _so_ good at kissing, Jude wouldn't mind being kissed like this for hours.

Jude isn't sober enough to get it up again but he wishes he could if only to get off just like this, grinding his cock up against Zero's, skin catching everywhere, Zero's tongue in his mouth, his hands in his hair.

"Gonn'come," Zero mutters after half a dozen tight strokes of Jude's hand, his fingers tugging helplessly at Jude's hair, his eyes scrunched shut and his flush disappearing down the top three undone buttons of that fucking checkered shirt that has been driving Jude mad all night.

He swipes his thumb around the slit at the tip, picking up some of the pre-come drooling there to make the next stroke a little easier, and it makes Zero shoot off like a fucking rocket, lips parted and letting out soft _ah, ah, ah_ s as he comes all over Jude's own shirt (and he can't find it in himself to give a damn). He thrusts into the fist Jude makes for him to ride it out, his face buried in the crook of Jude's neck now, mouth panting hot and wet against his throat. He shakes and shakes and shivers and Jude fucking loves it, having Zero come so hard above him he nearly topples over to the floor of the car. He comes down slowly, chest heaving on top of Jude's, and Jude lets him because it's the polite thing to do.

If he nuzzles into Zero's temple a little, no one needs to know but him. Besides, the fucker smells nice.

Minutes later, Jude strokes him once, just to see what happens, and fuck Zero and his dick that can stay hard like that after he comes. Seriously, what is this guy made of? Zero makes a sound at the back of his throat, picking himself up from where he's sprawled on top of Jude and smirking down at him, eyes bright. "Yours can't do that, huh?"

Jude laughs, relaxed and easy, letting go of Zero's dick to wipe his hand clean on that stupid shirt of his. "You win this round," he says, his hands running once up and down Zero's side. "But you gotta give me a ride back to the dorms 'cause I came with Kyle and she's most likely already gone." Also, if she finds Jude near Zero right now, she might start wailing and she'll give him that _I know everything, you are fucked_ look she enjoys so much and Jude is slightly scared of.

The corner of Zero's mouth lifts up slowly. "I'll give you a ride all right."

Jude rolls his eyes, patting Zero's shoulder. "You wish, cowboy. Now take me home, my leg is cramping. I trust you've burned out the alcohol and won't kill us on the way."

 

 

Again, it's not weird. After Zero parks on the lot outside their building, Jude nudges him over the gear shift and says, "thanks, man," but makes no move to get out and neither does Zero. In fact, against all precautions Jude's had all night ( _yeah, right_ , a voice in his head says, and it sounds a fucking lot like Kyle's), they make out a little right there, Zero's hand on his hair like back at the club and Jude's tucked into the open slit of his shirt, the skin of Zero's collarbones warm and thin under his fingertips.

When he pulls away, it takes great effort not to chase in on him. Jude's lungs are _burning_ , what the fuck.

"This was an interesting night," Zero says, quiet and half smiling.

Jude nods, licking his lips. "Yeah. Who knew Derek would steal Ahsha's birthday and make it his own."

Zero chuckles. "Not what I was talking about but I definitely see your point there."

Jude smiles sideways. "I know what you're talking about." He takes a deep breath and pulls further back into his seat, further away from Zero. "I should get going."

Taking the keys out of the ignition, Zero nods with a wince. "Yeah, me, too. Gotta wake up early tomorrow. Or, like, later today."

"See you around, then?" Jude asks, and doesn't really expect an answer because it's a very common thing to say, all things considered. Granted, not between people who've just had sex _for the second time but don't really know each other_ , but still, it shocks Jude and makes him stop in his tracks when Zero clears his throat.

He turns around at the same time Zero says, "I still don't know if I should take you up on that rain check, you know," quiet and low and wondering.

Jude holds onto the open door and licks his lips, looking away for a second before he looks back at Zero, who isn't looking at him but seems pretty interested on the keychain attached to his keys, currently held loosely in his fingers on top of the steering wheel. Jude's stomach feels warm, warm, warm.

"Well," Jude starts, feeling his lips twitch when Zero looks at him, "we _do_ live in the same building. We're bound to run into each other eventually."

Zero laughs, gazing up at the ceiling of his car. "Right, and we go to, like, the same college and all. Even have that one class together."

Jude widens his eyes, mocking. "We do? No _shit_. No wonder you look so familiar."

"Alright," Zero nods, lips pursing into a sideways smile. "Alright, fine, I'll see you around."

Jude smiles around his bitten lip and makes it for the entrance before Zero's out of his car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow guys i'm so sorry. i was all set to post a couple weeks ago and then some family drama came at me from nowhere and had to move, which meant wonky internet connections and very little time to sit down. as it is, i have very poorly proof-read this chapter, if you spot a mistake let me know! 
> 
> my internet isn't gonna get better but hopefully i can get the 3rd chapter next week, fingers crossed! i hope you liked this one :)


	3. Chapter 3

For all Jude keeps saying it's not weird, it does get weird when he lies in bed a few weeks after Ahsha's birthday and realizes he knows next to nothing about Zero but is eerily comfortable enough with him to, like, suck his cock. Or get his sucked. Perspectives, really.

That's more or less how Jude finds himself knocking on Lucas's door at seven thirty-two pm on a Wednesday.

"What do you want," Lucas greets him, eyes sleepy. He's wearing nothing but a pair of golden boxer briefs. Jude is not going to ask, no.

"Hey, sorry, really sorry for waking you up, but, uh, I needed to ask you something," Jude says, scratching at the back of his neck. Lucas looks like he's two seconds away from murder so Jude hastily adds, "I, uh, I was wondering—you know Zero, right? Tall, broad shoulders, blond hair—"

Jude stops talking at the sight of Lucas's pursed lips. "I may know him," he says slowly, crossing his arms over his chest, "why?"

"Well, uh, I kinda—" Jude flushes, fidgets with the hem of his shirt, and what the fuck ever, he feels like a schoolboy with a crush here, like, _what the fuck_. "We have a class together and there's this project and I kinda need to talk to him about it but I don't—I don't have his number. I think I lost it."

If Lucas's lips twist any further Jude is calling an ambulance, he is. "And you were hoping, what, to get it from me?"

It's weird to be standing in the middle of a dorm hall with a dude in nothing but spandex boxer briefs. Golden ones, at that. Jude's had his fair share of wild college experiences but this one is topping all of those and even setting the bar higher up. 80% of that is the fact this is Lucas, honestly.

"Yeah," Jude says, rocking on the balls of his feet. "I'd appreciate it a lot."

Lucas looks him up and down. "What's it in for me, Jude?"

Jude blanches. "Well, uh…" he scratches at the back of his neck (if he keeps doing that he's gonna end up with _scars_ ), "I can… I can cover half the booze for your next party."

Lucas thinks it over for five seconds and then says, "Deal. I'll text it to you. Now go away." He closes the door on Jude's face and Jude's left standing in the half-lit hall all by himself, gaping a little.

Back in his room, his roommate is snoring on top of his closed laptop, and Jude reaches for his phone before it pings twice with the text message alert. Lucas's sent him Zero's number along with a _you boys play nice now_ , and Jude shivers a little, probably because fucking James has left the window open again.

Yeah, that's probably it. It has nothing to do with the fact Jude's holding a string of numbers that belong to Zero in the cradle of his palms. Nope.

Jude stares at the array of numbers on his screen as he sits heavily on his bed, debating whether to save it as a new contact, and before he can psych himself out of it, he opens up the IM app. And then he sort of… stares at it for at least five minutes before he settles on two words and hits send.

_Rain check?_

The reply comes eight seconds later, Jude counts them. _ur in luck – roommate is out for the night. 308._

Jude doesn't even reply, just grabs his keys, a hoodie, and closes the door quietly, leaving James to drool all over his laptop because the jerk probably deserves it.

Zero's room is one floor above his and he sprints up the stairs so fast he's panting by the time he knocks on the door, like he's somehow ran all across campus. His heart is beating so fast it's nearly bursting out of his chest and Jude asks it to please chill for a second because this is _not_ what it looks like and Jude doesn't have time to deal with it, especially not right now, because Zero's pulling the door open and he's shirtless, hair wet around his temples, and Jude aches for him with such intensity his knees wobble a little.

Fuck.

"Wouldn't have thought you to be _that_ easy," he says, with far more confidence he actually has.

Zero steps to the side, rolling his eyes. It looks kind of—fond. Jude hates him a little. "Which one of us texted who first?"

"Shut up," Jude mutters, stepping into Zero's room.

He looks around for a second, purposefully leaves Zero's bed for last. He starts with the bookcase by the closet, full of thick books and stray papers, a few rocks and far more action figures Jude'd thought. His desk is a fucking mess, laptop open and blinking on a half-written essay, books and prints and notebooks everywhere. There's a nice collection of pens Jude will examine closely later ( _later?!_ Like, Jude's unconsciously planning on staying long?) and his lamp is shaped like The Hulk's foot. It's kinda cool, Jude admits.

Zero's bed looks comfy and warm and his sheets are rumpled. They're of a light blue and his duvet is much darker, almost black, and it makes Jude's gut churn, how pale Zero's skin must look against it, all flushed and shivery.

"Where'd your roommate go?" he asks as he turns around, leaning against Zero's desk.

Zero stands by the door, next to where a pile of shoes are scattered, possibly belonging to the roommate in question since they're closer to the other side of the room. "I don't really know, he just took his laptop and said he'd be at his girlfriend's. He does that often when he's got a big exam coming up."

"Ah." Jude nods, crosses his arms over his chest, suddenly very aware of what he's _doing_ (holy fuck, _what is he doing?_ ) and where he is, all the bravado he'd packed up on his way up fading into nerves and anxiety and a little bit of heat, low in his belly.

Zero takes a step towards him, and Jude _hates_ the way his pants hang low on his hips, obscene and fucking inviting. He very much wants to rip them off and burn them. "So," he says, slow and wondering and sex on a stick, really, "should I put a sock on the door?"

Jude swallows and thinks _fuck it, fuck it hard, damn it_ , his thighs spreading a little, and his stomach drops at the change in Zero's face, the way his lips tighten at the corners and his eyes widen a little. He takes another step closer and Jude can taste him already, the skin between his collarbones, the skin where neck meets shoulder. Jude wants to bite down and never let go.

"I think I'll skip the sock," Zero says, quiet, and then he's on Jude, hands on Jude's neck and jaw, his mouth warm and wet against Jude's and Jude can only agree.

Zero fits into the cradle of Jude's thighs, presses in close and closer still, licking into Jude's mouth with such fervor that if Jude weren't half-hard already from mere anticipation, the way Zero's tongue is moving along his would take him there in two seconds flat. Zero's hands find his sides and lift him like he weights _nothing_ and it's such a turn on Jude doesn't mind the book he's sitting on digging painfully against an ass cheek.

They make out like teenagers against Zero's desk, hands roaming but never quite reaching a solid destination. Jude honestly wouldn't mind taking his time, spreading Zero open on top of his pretty blue sheets and _ruin_ him, but this will have to make do because he doesn't think he has it in himself to stop and push Zero away long enough for them to make it to the bed.

He's getting reacquainted with the curl of Zero's tongue when there's a knock on the door.

"Yo, Zero, we're going to that burger joint near Main, you wanna come? I know it's late but the heart wants what the heart wants, ya know—"

Jude misses the rest of whoever's-outside's speech as he groans and bites down on Zero's tongue. He's not apologetic when Zero makes a pained noise and pulls away, pouting.

"Your friends have the worst timing," Jude murmurs into the dip of Zero's lower lip. He hasn't missed the way Zero's been slowly and steadily rolling his hips against Jude's where he's tucked in between his thighs, and, fuck, Jude loves slow, grinding sex like nobody's business and thinking about Zero fucking him slow enough to make them both shake is pretty close to torture.

"I shouldn't have skipped the sock." Zero groans at the back of his throat, his hands up Jude's shirt. His fingers are big and strong. Jude is having a hard time focusing here. He's glad their dorms' doors don't open from the outside unless you have a key otherwise it'd be one hell of a party Zero's friends would be walking in on.

"Hold up a sec!" Zero calls over his shoulder, voice clearly strained, and Jude wonders if the people outside can catch it, can catch the way his lips waver when he talks and the air leaves him in a hushed sigh. "In my defense," he adds to Jude's ears only, "they show up unannounced at least twice a day." He's nosing along the edge of Jude's jaw. "They probably think I'm studying, though."

Outside, there's raucous laughter and a hushed " _shut up, you're gonna get us kicked out, Terrence,_ " and Jude sighs, still hard as all fucks but somehow a little apprehensive.

What's the protocol here? Is he supposed to let Zero go off with his friends? Is this a "I was here first, bitches" type of situation? Should Jude go out there and tell them Zero's busy getting some? Should he tell Zero this was fun and haul ass? And since we're on it, really, how many bones can one break when jumping out a third-story window? 'Cause there's no way Jude's going out the front door, nope, no way in _hell_ —

Another knock rattles them both, "Bitch, I know you're in there, I can see your ugly Hulk-lamp glowing."

And holy fucking shit. That's Derek on the other side of the door, holy _fuck_.

"Just how close are you with Derek?" Jude asks in a strained whisper, pulling further away from Zero's mouth and his hands and his general shirtless-ness. The tent at the front of his pants is fucking indecent and it makes Jude's mouth water.

Jude belatedly realizes this is how they actually started fooling around, when Zero came out of Derek's room and Jude nearly pushed him back in with promises of pot. _Of course they're friends_ , his brain screeches at him, _of course they are, Jude, you're so dumb_.

Fuck, Jude can't catch a break here.

Zero looks confused and hurt at the distance between them. "How…? Well, like, kinda close? We were in the same Calc class in first year. He stole my notes once and I threatened to punch him and somehow we ended up friends? Why?"

Jude winces. Oh shit. Oh shiiiiiiit. If Derek finds out Jude's in here with his dick and mouth very close to Zero's, he's never going to hear the end of it. Jude values his reputation more than he's willing to admit and having his best friend forever (who somehow he keeps spending less and less time with—college as a whole is to blame here, obviously) teasing him to the end of times because Jude is literally fucking with the first name on his _Death_ _Note_ book is a hard no. A very big one.

(Yes, shut up, Jude likes anime, okay?)

Jude waves a hand towards the door, where Derek is still muttering about Zero being a little bitch for making them wait. "Derek and I have been friends since we were five years old. Apparently the whole stealing stuff is his way of making friends because he stole my crayons."

Zero huffs a laugh, his hands dropping from Jude's sides—which _sucks_ but Jude isn't going to delve into _why_ , at least not now—and bracing them on his desk, at each side of Jude's hips. He's so… Jude's never been one to be speechless when it comes to hot dudes being near him, but right now he can't find words exact enough to describe how _good_ Zero looks in nothing but ratty old sweats, his hair a mess and his cheeks pink from arousal. 

"Do you wanna go for a burger?" Zero asks with a small smile, and he runs a hand through his hair almost shyly, scratching at the back of his neck as he levels Jude with a look that holds far too much for him to decipher at this time of night. "I mean, we can stay if you wanna—I'd be very cool with that, _very_ —but, uh, I mean, feels like the mood has been dropped here, if you know what I mean."

And yes, Jude knows. Thinking about Derek being only twenty feet away kind of puts a damper on the whole 'getting it up' thing.

"Sure, yeah, I mean, I haven't had dinner yet, so, yeah." He clears his throat and lets Zero reach out to rearrange his shirt, since it's obviously his fault it's all crumpled and askew. Zero's fingers linger on his chest and then he looks up at Jude's mouth for a second.

"We can tell Derek we were working on a project," he says, and Jude's stomach flips itself over.

"Really?" he asks, eyebrows up to his hairline.

Zero shrugs. "Yeah, I mean, this is none of his business, is it?"

"Right, yeah, you're right." Jude nods and half-hops off the desk, awkwardly looking around Zero's room again while trying to fix his hair.

Zero smiles and steps away to look for a t-shirt and a hoodie and his shoes and then they're opening the door and Derek is on the phone with someone, Terrence is trying to draw a dick on the RA's suggestions board, and German is lying on the floor with his hands under his head, humming to whatever song's coming out of the room two doors down.

No one seems to realize Zero and Jude have just walked out of Zero's room looking worse for wear; in fact, Derek hasn't stopped tapping on his phone long enough to look up, but Jude's heart is _pounding_. This is it, this is where their whole façade comes to die a horrible, embarrassing death.

"Took you long enough," Derek says as he looks up, and when he spots Jude, he looks down at his phone and then back up again. His eyes widen minutely and then he's saying, "Dude, I've been calling you for the past ten minutes, why didn't you answer?"

"Left my phone in my room." It's not a lie.

"Ah, well, might as well and all that, we're gonna get burgers, let's go," Derek says, and spins on his heels and marches down the hall towards the stairs.

"Hey, man," German says as he gets up, patting Jude's shoulder, "long time no see."

"Yeah," Jude nods, scratching at his neck, and nods at Terrence when he's done drawing male genitalia. "Hey."

Terrence grins and they start making their way towards the stairs. "Oh, hey, you guys working on a project? Is it for that Behavioral Psych shit that's always driving you mad, Z?"

Zero chuckles and starts down the hall, walking next to him, and soon they're lost in conversation about class and projects and Jude hangs back a little, willing his heartrate to go back to normal, because this can't be _it_ , this can't be so easy.

Sure, they're both adults and they can fool around with whoever they want, and sure, no one knows they've already slept together (sort of), but back in his room, back in Zero's room, having no one finding out about them had seemed so… _vital_. So fucking important. And now that literally no one gives a shit as to what could've taken them so long to open the door when they first knocked, Jude finds himself nervous as all fucks because it's not that big of a deal anymore, apparently, having to sneak around. (Not that they do, but point stands.)

He knows Derek wouldn't have a problem. The others he doesn't really care about. The Debate class already thinks they're fucking.

So, what's got Jude's pants in a twist, seriously.

"You okay?" Zero asks when they're pulling over outside the food joint. "You've been uncharacteristically quiet for the past fifteen minutes."

 _Why is it weird that you_ know _I'm not usually quiet_ , Jude wants to ask. _If I've been quiet so far is because I like watching you talk, I like the way you use your hands when you're talking, the way your eyes get all big and shiny when you speak Freud. I honestly think you have a crush on him and it's making me impossibly jealous, what the fuck._

It's so stupid, though, it sounds so stupid Jude barely shakes his head and shrugs and nods towards where the other guys are walking into.

"Just very hungry all of a sudden," he says.

Zero hums and looks unconvinced, but graciously avoids bringing it up again as they sit on a booth by the window, pressed together from knees to elbows, the guys around them speaking loudly as they make their orders.

-

Later, Terrence drops them off at their building and waves them goodbye and Derek says, "We should do this again, Jude, please keep your phone on you at all times, don't make me call Lionel," and then they're pulling off the curve and driving towards their frat house, music ringing loud in their wake.

Zero clears his throat and nudges Jude in the side. "Are you sure you're okay? You wanna stop by mine and have a drink or something? Eric doesn't mind I have booze in there as long as he can get a glass every once in a while."

This is not something they _do_. They don't hang out. They hook up and then go their separate ways and it's worked well so far and Jude has honestly enjoyed their dynamic and doesn't want to fuck it up. And that's the thing isn't it? This isn't a friends-with-benefits thing—they're not even _friends_ to begin with, for fuck's sake.

Everything is so… weird. Jude wants to decline the invitation and head back to his own Zero-free room so he can think things through and wonder in peaceful quiet why tonight—all of it—feels so fucking great and easy. He wants to say, "listen, I know we're fucking and stuff, but that's all this is, right?" except he's not a hundred percent sure that's all this is and he's a little afraid of what Zero's answer might be.

Maybe Jude does in fact need a drink. Or three.

He looks at Zero with a raised eyebrow, taking a deep breath. "Eric as in the RA?"

Zero nods, leading the way into the building. "Yeah, that one. He's cool." He makes a face. "We went out for a bit."

"Huh," Jude says, dragging himself up the stairs, gut churning. Zero's looking at him all weird, though, eyes squinty. "What," he asks, reaching out to flick his elbow, "why are you looking at me like that?"

Zero shrugs and scoots away when Jude makes to flick him again. "Nothing. Stop that. Hey," he whines, and pushes on Jude's shoulder a little. "Hey, can I ask you a question?"

Jude's lungs freeze. "Uh, yeah. Sure, yeah."

"Who's Lionel? Derek'd been teasing you with that back at the diner—a girlfriend perhaps?" Zero is looking at him with half a smile, but there's tension around the corner of his mouth and Jude doesn't know what to make of it.

He lets out a shaky laugh. "Oh, god, no. She's—well, she _used to be_ my step-mom. For like, three months."

" _Oh_ ," Zero says, shaking with laughter, "oh, I had no idea, I'm sorry I implied—"

"That I'm be double-timing my step mom? Yeah, much appreciated, Zero, thanks," Jude rolls his eyes, flicking his arm.

And now _that_ —the bickering, the flicking, this weird and surprisingly easy way to make things less awkward between each other by getting under each other's skin—feels normal, because it's eerily similar to what they do in class.

They make their way to Zero's floor chuckling and making fun of each other, Jude still attempting to flick him anywhere and Zero swatting at him, fake annoyed and pouting. They don't run into anyone; apparently Wednesday nights are quiet in their building.

In his room, Zero pins him to the door and says, very low and very careful, "don't move," lips pressed to Jude's ear, dragging across his earlobe in the worst yet best way ever. He drops to his knees and pulls and tugs at Jude's pants until they're pooled around his ankles and he nuzzles at the crease where thigh meets groin and Jude heaves for dear life, because he honestly didn't think this would happen, because honestly he'd been wishing it would.

Zero mouths at the base of his cock like he's just getting acquainted, like he's getting to know Jude through this alone, and somewhere in Jude's mind, in a distant corner still not yet fried by everything happening between them, Jude thinks it's unfair that he knows all this tiny things about Zero—that he doesn't like onions, that he's allergic to bell peppers, that he kisses with the same fiery passion he talks about his major, that he used to date the fucking RA—whereas the only information Jude's let slip so far is his phone number, that he likes his burgers well done, and that he has a not-really-a-step-mom named Lionel, because whenever Zero tried to pull him into conversation back at the diner Jude merely shrugged his shoulders and went back to his food.

Because _it's fucking and that's all this is_. And yet—here Jude is, wondering how Zero takes his coffee or if he's a dog person or a cat person and what his thoughts on _Doctor Who_ are.

It's weird, to be so lost in thought about something so trivial, especially when there's a mouth on his cock, and a talented one at that. Zero must be thinking the same, though, because even if Jude's hard, he pulls away and looks up at him with a frown.

"Where are you?" he asks, voice quiet. His lips are shiny and Jude hand to god cannot handle the view.

He wants to scream.

"I'm right here," he says, just as quiet, hands clutching at empty air because Zero said _don't move_ and Jude's taken it to heart, hasn't even moved to touch Zero's hair or his shoulder or the curve of his jaw like he's wanted to do for days now.

Zero smiles a little, sitting back on his haunches. "You're a mile away in your head, though. You sure you're okay? We don't have to do this."

He looks so _stern_. So _interested_. Like he's actually worried. Like he actually _cares_.

Jude swallows for a better thing to do, can't bring himself to say, _I don’t know you. I don't know what your favorite band is. I don't know when your birthday is. I don't know how you drink your coffee or if you even_ drink _coffee. But I wanna find out. I really really do_.

And if that thought isn't scary enough—

"I'm fine," he says, sliding down the door until he's half on Zero's lap and half kneeling on the floor, his pants in the way of everything and digging painfully into the backs of his knees.

He leans in and presses his mouth to Zero's, kisses him deep and dirty, makes Zero clutch at his waist and make sweet noises against Jude's mouth, and then they're stumbling down onto the carpeted floor, Zero on his back and Jude on top of him, still kissing, still grinding together.

Jude says, "I've been thinking about this all fucking day," his words mushed together into Zero's mouth, and Zero says, "me too—I've been thinking about you all week," and Jude wants to laugh, wants to bite down on the cord of his throat and say, _it can't be_ all week _, it's only Wednesday and I saw you yesterday in class_ , but Zero's hands are on his ass, big and warm and _possessive_ as he leads the pace of Jude grinding on his still jeans-clad cock, and Jude can't care about anything else other than the burning trails of Zero's fingertips, can't even be bothered with the chafing that has already started.

"We should make it to the bed," Zero mumbles into the kiss, laughing a little, voice soft. His hands are on Jude's lower back now, grounding, comforting. It feels amazing, if Jude is honest. "This rug is dirty and who knows who've done this before us, I don't wanna catch anything."

"You're so romantic," Jude grins, and rolls to the side, reaching for his pants and pulling them up before his ass hits the carpet. "Honestly, I feel so charmed right now," he adds when Zero laughs a little louder.

"And I haven't even pulled out the big guns yet," Zero says, offering a hand out to pull Jude to his feet.

Jude wrinkles his nose. "Are you talking about your arms? 'Cause I'm not impressed by them in the slightest, let me tell you."

"I've seen you ogling me, you fucker," Zero retorts, chin tilted up.

Their hands are still clasped together. Zero's hand is warm and strong and Jude tightens his fingers as he takes a step closer, small and uncertain because suddenly the air between them is charged, but in a different way. _Good_ different.

Zero's lips are curled in a quiet smile, same as the one he had when he'd asked Jude if he was okay, if he was _sure_ he was okay. The thing is Jude's never been sure about anything, worse when it comes to this.

He shrugs. "Not impressed."

Zero takes the last step between them, their hands still clasped between them, and reaches with the other one to cup the side of Jude's neck. It feels overly intimate—and that's not something they actually do. For a moment Jude is floored, feeling dumb and like his heart is beating its way through his chest because the ground under his feet doesn't feel as solid.

"I'm going to kiss you now," Zero says, the corner of his mouth tilting up, and Jude mirrors the smile even if he doesn't want to, "let's see if that will impress you."

It is, as far as Jude is concerned, a very impressing kiss. Zero definitely knows what his mouth and tongue are doing and Jude is quite breathless by the time Zero pulls away and starts kissing down his neck softly, gently pushing at Jude's shoulders so they can actually make it to the bed this time.

There's not enough time to actually get to the good part. Jude has a class at eight and Zero has a shift in the campus radio at six. It's not like Jude had even planned to stay the night, and they both need to get enough hours of sleep if they're to be functional members of society and the like.

So, after—after Zero's lubed hand coaxed a perfect orgasm out of Jude and in return Jude went down on him like a man on a mission (because Jude is nothing but _dedicated_ , here)—Jude pokes him in the side, muffling a yawn in Zero's pillow before sitting up a little, rearranging his t-shirt over his stomach.

"I should get going," he slurs, still orgasm-stupid.

Zero waves a hand out and somehow lands it on Jude's side, over the curve of his hip. "I'd ask you to stay but I have to be up pretty early. Six am. I hate my part-time job, you know? I don't even need it, the money's not _that_ good."

Jude chuckles and pats the hand on his hip softly. (What the fuck, that was weirdly intimate, _again_. Jude can't function properly after sex.) He gets up, pulling on his pants and trying not to trip over and break his neck. He levels Zero with a look. "Even if you'd asked me to—which I _doubt,_ you fucker—I would've said no. I have a class at eight and I need the credits for this semester." He sighs, weary, and his mouths just starts going off without his consent, "Also, my dad has been giving me such _grief_ about not taking Corporate Law sooner—I guess neither of us knew it'd mean I'd have to get up at ass o'clock for it. I didn't even wanna take Law, you know? What I actually wanted to take wasn't worthy enough of his attention, I guess. _You won't make money out of it_ , he said, and here I am, about to graduate and work for him while simultaneously hoping the whole building will catch on fire someday. I really wish I had taken History, I'd have more fun, I bet."

He falls silent, lips pressed into a thin line; what the fuck, what is wrong with him, did he honestly just dump all that on Zero? Might as well go all the way and let him know back in the day dad was pretty homophobic and cut Jude off for the entirety of his senior year in high school and the only reason he came to his senses was because grandmother Kincade knocked some sense into him before she passed away and Lionel threatened with a media circus. Jude wants to bite his tongue, take all his words back, because this can't be the first thing he shares with Zero. Couldn't he go with a "hey, I had cats while growing up," or "you probably don't know this but I'm a huge mama's boy and I miss her terribly."

That would've been so much better.  

Zero is looking at him with careful eyes, still bright in the dimmed light of his horrible lamp. His cheeks are still flushed and Jude's stomach twists in response, because he makes such a sight he's a little breathless, and his heart is already pounding a mile a minute for a hundred different reasons. The silence stretches between them and Jude bites at the inside of his lip hard enough to finch a little.

Zero throws him a lazy smile while sitting at the end of his bed, and he slowly reaches a hand out to poke his fingers through Jude's beltloops. "You're a nerd, aren't you?" he asks softly, and his lips twitch. Jude's learned by now to know the difference between his douche-smile and his real-smile and what he sees is closer to the latter than Jude's ready to deal with.

He sighs, smiling a little himself. "You're one to talk." Jude rolls his eyes when Zero plays offended, nodding to the corner in the bookcase with all the little action figures.

"You like it when I talk, though," Zero says, looking up at Jude with _knowing_ eyes, like whatever he's saying right now is not even a tenth of what he _actually_ knows, and Jude feels caught with his hand in the cookie jar, so to speak. "Don't freak out," Zero says with a teasing smile, getting to his feet and looking down at Jude apologetically, "I just notice these things. Comes with the major."

"That's annoying," Jude purses his lips, still breathing with difficulty. Zero laughs but doesn't say anything else, so Jude pulls away from him and heads for the door, shoving his hands in his pockets when Zero beats him to it and gets a hold of the knob.

"What kind of guy would I be if I didn't at least get the door for you?" he asks with a grin.

Jude narrows his eyes. "I dislike you so much. Why do I even sleep with you."

"Speaking of which," Zero says, a shit-eating grin on full display now, "I gotta say it's pretty weird you keep calling me 'Zero' when you come."

Jude swallows thickly. "Well, it's your name, isn't it? What am I supposed to call you?"

"You seem quite fond of ' _God_ Zero', you know." Zero lets out a breathless laugh at the face Jude makes and leans into the door as he opens it, and Jude walks out trying really hard not to smile. "It's Gideon, by the way. Make sure you use that name next time."

Jude snorts, his heart doing a strange thing between his ribs. "Don't call me," he says, "it's over between us."

Gideon's eyes are bright as his smile. "Of course."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **eta 4/25:** guys due to some personal issues i will no longer be updating/writing. i'm really sorry and i hope you understand. i'll be deleting this account too, probably over the weekend, but the works will remain archived for those who want to reread, maybe. thank you all so much for always being kind and supportive, i love you all and, again, i'm sorry.


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